Sassitude

Xmas 2010

2010-12-28T10:28:00.000-08:00

Well its safe to say that this will be a christmas I will never forget. Today my sister-in-law called my mother a *itch. i couldn't believe it. Now tensions are high as we e waiting for a couple hours until we go to the airport. Idk what will happen as the day goes on, but she is back tracking tryin to play the matyr. I just don't uinderstand, I thought I would never see the day.

Sassy...never w/o attitude

Don't have that Information

2010-09-08T11:09:00.000-07:00

So, right now I am at work. Yes, I still work at a preschool. I'm still a floater but my job is ending at the end of the month. I will have to find another career or apply for another permenant position within the company. I am currently sitting at a desk filling because there is not a secretary here at this center. All of these parents keep showing up wanting to know if their child has been accepted so they can attend school here. It's sad to tell them I don't know because they get soo frustrated and have been waiting for such a long time. But then you get those parents that want to give you an attitude and get mad at me like it is my fault. Well people I am so sorry I don't have that information so please save the drama for your mama cause I don't wanna hear it.

Sassy...never w/o attitude

Activities

2010-06-24T14:39:00.000-07:00

So officially started on Monday and boy is it really hot. It's like 90 degrees during the day and then it thunder and lightening storms every night. I did not get that memo. But it is still nice not to be at work with screaming kids and clueless adults. Oddly I haven't really done anything this summer worth writing about. All I do is watch tv or get on my computer. Sometimes I go outside and swing on our lawn swing. I even tried picking back up the guitar but I get sooo frustrated that I put it back down again. I haven't practiced my keyboard either. Sooo lazy. And I feel bad cause I want to learn and have patience.

My birthday is coming up next week. This weekend my bff ae ae is coming down to visit and we are goin to kingsisland. So that will be nice. At least I will get up out of the house and be active. I'm sooo excited!!

Sassy...never w/o attitude

SUMMER

2010-06-07T16:18:00.001-07:00

SCHOOL'S OUT FOR SUMMER!

Sassy...never w/o attitude

May

2010-05-21T15:08:00.000-07:00

Well I didn't tell you but two weeks ago I got a new car. I was driving and my car stopped in the middle of the street. I was sooo upset. It is a chevy hhr , and it is silver. I have also been kinda stressing out. Those kids are nuts and school is over next week. I think they just make bad choices on purpose because they know it is the end of the year. And well I still have to find a job because school gets out for the summer. I really want to move to the west coast. Well, cause who doesn't like warm weather. The midwest is making my head spin, but I will miss everyone. I don't know...maybe I just have to keep praying about it. Ta-ta for now.

Sassy...never w/o attitude

I Don't Deserve It

2010-04-29T11:43:00.000-07:00

I'm sure everyone has that something that makes them cringe. Well for me right now it is my job. I work at a preschool and some of these kids are crying out for attention. They need love and support with positive reinforcement for when they act "bad". But some of them are just rotten, rotten to the core. Now is it their fault that they need "special" attention. And when I say "special" I mean psychological. They have behavioral issues and fly off the deepend at a moments notice just because the sun is shining. I know that last part was a bit of an exaggeration but hopefully you get my drift. The parents seem to some how feel ashamed or are too proud to do anything for their child. Because we do have the resources that they need. If my child needed help, I would jump to find a way to get it them. They would be the most important thing to me so it would not be an issue.

I on the other hand don't have any kids but I love them. Even the ones that are bad. But it is not to say that I deserve to be cussed out or punched by a 3-5yr old. I am on the verge of a break down. Some of these children just make me realize how lucky and blessed I was growing up. If I ever acted the way that they are acting I probably wouldn't be here. There was a certain level of respect for teachers, parents, and just elders in general. I come to work and wonder what I did to deserve this. I'm frustrated and I am not sure if I will make it.

Sassy...never w/o attitude

Talent

2010-04-25T10:21:00.000-07:00

So last week I went to this open auditon for a talent agency. I heard it broadcasted on the radio and I really didn't know what to expect. When I got there it was a nice little turn out, not a lot of people but enough. I was talking to this girl who thought she was probably the oldes person there. We were the same age and she was nice. We were both there to sing, even though the judges were evaluating us on other things as well. I didn't get a call back. :( But I am glad I had the experence of the audtion and got to see so many talented people.

It got me thinking if I'm ever going to get there. I know nothing is ever given and you have to work for what you want. I just find myself thinking that maybe I'm not good enough, or don't know the right people. I'm not popular so I'm caught between a rock and a hard place. It all may be true. But this is not just something I woke up today and thought I want to do that and have x, y, z. Music is all that I am. And no I maynot be as talented as some people but I have the heart and drive. It's not something I can turn off and will never go away. So be careful, don't underestimate me.

Sassy...never w/o attitude

Got my job

2010-04-13T15:24:00.000-07:00

Let me tell you, I have been thru with my job since I first started. I am so grateful and blessed to have found this job when I did. But now I think it is time I move forward and find something new. I don't know I just feel like I'm stuck and I don't know where to go from here. Preschoolers are a major stress.

Sassy...never w/o attitude

Where have I Been?

2010-04-09T16:06:00.000-07:00

It's really sad how much of a voice I have but am relunctant to use it. My poor blog has sustained itself without me through my selfish misery. I miss you. I am trying to get back to that place where I can express myself without consequence. Work is so taxing now. I got a new position, but it is ending soon. It was only for a year and pretty much allowed me to earn more money, all the while doing the same thing as before.

Family is still in its ups and downs. But ofcourse we all still are close for the most part. My neice just turned 1yrs old last month and my brother is about to be 5yrs. How did time speed up in slow motion? I got lost in the process of moving to the next thing. I did paint my room, its like a teal color now. Yay!

Sassy...never w/o attitude

Recap

2009-07-10T09:45:00.000-07:00

I almost forgot about this blog. I was reading some old posts of mine and I thought my feelings really haven't changed since I wrote them. Here is a little recap: my lil brother and his wife had a baby, she is now almost 4mths, my big brother and his wife are in wisconsin and he is having issues with his boss, and as for me I am still just waiting for something new.

I have kind of just been in this place of not knowing where to go from here. I am still working at preschool and from time to time they call me in to work even though its summer. I have been looking for another job with no luck. It seems to me like 4yrs of a college education is being waisted. I am not doing anything that has to do with my degree what so ever. So...ugh! However, my mother has embarked on a project that will create scholarships in my grandmother's name. So that is something positive, exciting, and new.

Sassy...never w/o attitude

Left Behind

2009-04-05T09:06:00.000-07:00

Lately I have been feeling horrible. I feel like I can't find my voice. I don't know what to do. When I was younger I used to write all of the time. I wrote so many poems; some rhymed and some free verse. Now it is so hard for me to put my feelings down on paper. I have about a million thoughts going through my head all of the time that when I get a pencil and paper nothing comes out. It kinda sucks alot. And now I am stuck. I thought that after college you get a job and find your own way. Leave it to me to not follow these directions. I know that everyone has their own path and they will find their way in their own time, but why is it taking so long for me. Nothing has gone according to plan and it seems like I'm just waisting away while life is moving forward for everyone else.

Sassy...never w/o attitude

Family

2009-03-16T07:24:00.000-07:00

I am so excited. Yesterday my brother and sister-in-law had a baby girl. She is sooo cute and big. I woke up at like 2am and went to the hospital on Sunday morning. We were there for so long but the baby was born at about 9:30am. It is interesting to me because I know that now everything will change. My brother will grow up alot now that he is a father for the first time. He is gonna realize that he has to make important decisions and is responsible for a life other than his own.

My mom is so happy to be a grandmother. She will spoil that baby so much. I think we all will. She even thinks that the baby looks like me and she does a little. But I don't know, our family is expanding so quickly and it's weird to get used to. I am just now old enough to like and appreciate my brothers but now they are both married with their own lives and journeys that don't include me. It's funny because I remember when none of us could stand one another. We would play tricks on each other, take things from each other, and eat each other's food.

We grew up. But sometimes it is nice to think about how we used to be and what we thought we would become.

Sassy...never w/o attitude

Indianapolis Colts Cheerleaders

2009-02-18T09:54:00.000-08:00

It is time for cheeleading tryouts this year. I am so excited but I am so not ready. I love to dance and had an idea that I should tryout for the Indianapolis Colts Cheerleaders. Why do you ask? Well one reason is because there used to be this show called making the squad. It would showcase different cheerleading tryouts in different states like; Florida and California. I thought, well I have energy, I love to dance, and I am a dedicated person, why not. So in order to somewhat prepare myself I am taking a dance class that is preparing me for tryouts. And let me tell you it is definately a workout. I went to my first class last week and I felt so out of shape and stupid. But this week I know what to expect and hope I pick up the steps better.

Who knows if I will make the squad but it is something to keep me busy and I'm anxious. So watch out, I'm coming.

Sassy...never w/o attitude

February Update

2009-02-18T09:46:00.000-08:00

Goodness February is almost over and it is going by so fast. So...update. I don't remember if I told you but over christmas break a met a roommate of my friend. At the time I thought he was attractive and enjoyed the time we spent together. Then I went to a concert of his and found out that he is dating someone. Ugh! That was sucky. I mean couldn't someone at least let me think I had a shot at him. But that was at the end of January, and now we hardly ever talk like we did two months ago.

Anyways, I have been working more sporadically and not just in one location. I kind of like it better that way so I get to know more children. And then at least I'm not responsible for what goes on in the class on a regular basis. Some children just need guidance which is a challenge but I'm still eager to help. And some of them need the kind of help that I can't give, these children are scary. They need more attention. Man I remember when I was their age and I would have never done or even thought up the things that they do. Now I know how my parents feel...

Sassy...never w/o attitude

Preschool

2009-01-23T09:35:00.000-08:00

It's been awhile since I have posted anything but there has been so much going on that I feel so overwhelmed. Well I have been working like everyday, I don't remember if I told you but I'm a substitute teacher. It has its ups and downs but I am not really permanent. So, that sucks, because I need some benefits. But the kids are something, they have so much energy all of the time. They are so curious and honest, I really just sit back, watch them, and laugh. Here's to being 4yrs old again.

Sassy...never w/o attitude

2009-01-02T11:03:00.001-08:00

happy new year!

Sassy...never w/o attitude

In-Laws

2008-11-30T10:02:00.000-08:00

I'm wondering what difference does it make to embrace family. I love my family they keep me sane sometimes. But I mean new people in the family. I am talking about the in-laws. You try to be nice and cordial but you really want to ring their necks and cuss them out. Deep down you know you can't in fear of straining the relationship with your biological counterparts. Oh but to dream. One bad thing is that you can't tell your family nothing at all about it because then they think you are jealous or crazy. You have to let people figure things out for themselves.

Sassy...never w/o attitude

Happy Thanksgiving

2008-11-27T09:16:00.001-08:00

Happy Thanksgiving!

Sassy...never w/o attitude

Married Away

2008-11-11T18:32:00.001-08:00

So...it actually happened. My younger brother got married this past Sunday. And now my thoughts are what the Bleeeeeep! Why oh why? Look I know love is beautiful but it makes people act stupid and impulsive. Sometimes people put so much emphasis on how much they are in love that they can't see what is going on around them. Well my new sister-in-law's family has many issues. They didn't even put up the bulk of the wedding supplies or cook most of the food. huh! Welcome to the family! Now both of my brothers are married away with interesting spouses, in other words selfish. I don't know, I just hope that all ends well. Oh and I forgot to mention that they are expecting a baby. Life is over as they know it. And I have a feeling aunty will be stepping in very often from the looks of things.

Sassy...never w/o attitude

2008-11-03T10:00:00.000-08:00

I feel really bad that I have been neglecting you. There is so much that I want to say, I want to just vent but right now I don't have that kind of time. And when I get home I am so tired from working all day. "Welcome to the real world," my mother always says. Look at me I am not even using correct grammar and writing sentences properly. You should start off a sentence with a quotation. Hey I actually learned something in english class.

Well just to catch you up a bit. My younger brother is getting married this Sunday. I straightened my hair so it looks good for wedding. I am overly tired and I now have to work on getting things ready for the wedding. Great! (I know you can't tell but there was sarcasim there.) I don't know I am not ready for my brother to get married. His fiance is sneaky and has issues. (See xanga for today's post about that.) She is not a bad person just like my older brother's wife isn't but my brothers are good men. They are the type of men that will do anything for the woman that they love. And that scares me. I don't want them to get so caught up in their women that they lose themselves and spoil them. But that isn't my business or my choice. Then I wonder would the situation be the same if the shoe was on the other foot? Clearly I have issues about this but they are my issues and I will be there on Sunday and I will let you guys know what happened.

Sassy...never w/o attitude

I'm Sick

2008-10-30T09:48:00.001-07:00

So I haven't checked in for a while but I will soon. Right now I'm sick. Grrr!

Sassy...never w/o attitude

The Secret Life Of Bees

2008-10-19T17:18:00.000-07:00

So yesterday I saw this incredible movie and it was wonderful. It takes you on such an emotional rollercoaster but I loved it. The story capitivates you and makes you angry, then sad, then happy, and then sad all over again. I love the fact that it is set in the 60s and deals with race and family. It makes you appreciate what you have and who cares for you now. A must see movie. I give it five stars!

Sassy...never w/o attitude

Crush

2008-10-09T10:49:00.001-07:00

Why is it so hard to let a crush go? When I think about my crushes and why I liked them I just laugh so hard. My crushes were completely shallow and they were not really worth my time. But still I can't help but think about them from time to time. I wonder who they are with and what they are up to now. Would things have been different if I was different? It makes you think.

Sassy...never w/o attitude

Stuck pt1

2008-10-08T10:57:00.000-07:00

Hmm..Lately I have been thinking that I am stuck. I am in this place that is supposed to be a transition but I don't know where to go from here. I need something that is going to help me make it to the next level.

Sassy...never w/o attitude

Demotivators

2008-10-02T18:50:00.000-07:00

So I was around the internet today and came across these demotivator sayings. They are sort of like the motivator posters you see out and about. Here are a few to chew on...

On this website www.despair.com you can order t-shirts, mugs, calenders. It is really interesting I mean someone should of thought of it years ago. There is nothing like a strong dose of reality with a hint of pessimism. It called LIFE!

Sassy...never w/o attitude

Open Relationships

2008-09-30T19:32:00.000-07:00

I was reading this blog about open relationships and it got me thinking. Open relationships in my opinion only cause more problems. It isn't considered cheating if both parites involved have a certain arrangement. I don't know much about the subject but relationships are hard enough as it is without complicated it. I mean what happens when one person catches feelings for the person they are "dating". Does the other person have the right to be upset? What happens then, a breakup or reevaluation of the current relationship status? You know what, you can keep your open relationships. OK. No thank you, on elittle boy at a time please.

Sassy...never w/o attitude

Cough!

2008-09-29T10:04:00.001-07:00

Well, like I am so happy that I finally got my car. It is so cute I will have to put up a pic later to show you guys. I am in class right now with my kiddies. It's nap time and they dont want to go to sleep. They think up any excuse possible to stay awake. They talk, figit, say "I have to go to the bathroom". They are something else. And now I can't help but remember if I was ever like that when I was their age. I don't really remember. I was a very quiet child, who kept to myself. Anywho I have been feeling horrible because I was sick this weekend. These little kiddies got me sick. Ugh! :( So I am in major need of some cough drops.

Sassy...never w/o attitude

Yea!

2008-09-28T18:43:00.000-07:00

I finally got a car. It's a dark green Saturn. Ooh..

Sassy...never w/o attitude

Not A Secret

2008-09-25T17:57:00.000-07:00

So apparently today or sometime Lindsay Lohan came out of the closet and said she has been dating long time friend Sam Ronson for a long time. And now all I have to say is...Who Cares?! Uh..like we maybe didn't already know that but anyway what difference does it make. Let her date whoever she wants to. I'm so tired of the media and people distorting everything and then getting made at celebs because they lie. Well...duh of course they are going to lie. If they told the truth then you will just want more like always.

Sassy...never w/o attitude

Nap Time

2008-09-24T10:26:00.000-07:00

It's been a while because I am currently sitting in a classroom with 16 little preschoolers. It's nap time yay! I will check back tonight for the update...if I'm not too tired.

Sassy...never w/o attitude

Preschool

2008-09-19T18:55:00.000-07:00

Ok so I know that I haven't posted anything, its because I have been so tired by the end of the day. I started orientation for my job on Monday and it lasted until today. Talk about boring! Although it was very important information that we needed to know how to do, it was sooo boring. We were given all these forms and examples of paperwork. It is really a shame how many trees had to die for us to become office zombies. That is what it felt like all week. And that brings me to today. Today I got out of orientation at lunch and had to go on site to an actual school. When I got there I was kind of unsure what to do. The children quickly hipped me to their routine and they felt comfortable with me. They wanted me to read so many stories to them at the same time. As soon as I picked up a book another was thrown at me. Aww...our future is eager to learn.

Sassy...never w/o attitude

No Wheels

2008-09-14T19:38:00.000-07:00

Ok...so I got up real early yesterday to go to breakfast with my family because my brother and his wife were moving out of state yesterday. Aww tear. Anyway I needed to find a car so I could get back and forth to work, so I was out all day yesterday. It was just a headache. My dad was with me, my mom, and grandma traveling all over the place looking for a car. It wouldn't have been so bad if my dad hadn't made me so mad. Sometimes he just doesn't think about other people. He is selfish. It was like he wanted to get me a car so he could drive it. So here I am about to start work tomorrow and still no car. I'm on the road going nowhere. Until tomorrow...

Sassy...never w/o attitude

Irritated

2008-09-13T18:45:00.000-07:00

Hey all! I am a little irritated right now from today. And I'm really tired. I wont really go into a lot of detail but I will fill you in tomorrow. It involves me getting a vehicle for work on monday. All I have to say is why do parents make things so much more difficult...

Sassy...never w/o attitude

Car Trouble

2008-09-11T20:30:00.000-07:00

Well today was such a long day. I needed to got to the hospital for some paper work for my new job. Yes I finally got a job. If you don't know why I'm so happy refer to my earlier post Degree=No Job. Anyway I called my bro to pick me up at home but he called back and said he couldn't start his car. His battery was dead, so I had to find another ride. So I called my other brother...and goodness! On our way he got a flat tire and had to get a completely new one. It was so hot outside and we had to walk to the tire place. Ugh! Man why is it that whenever you need to go somewhere something bad always happens. I eventually got to the hospital via my aunt and I got to go to work with her until my mom picked me up. This is why I really need a car. That's not to say that I could possibly never have these problems, however when I need to go somewhere I can get in my car and go. Wind in my hair petal to the medal, I'm so gone.

Oh and just so you know I added a little music to the blog just for you reading enjoyment. Lata

Boyband Alert

2008-09-10T13:24:00.000-07:00

Woah talk about a comeback. I just heard this single the other day from new kids on the block feat ne-yo it is hott. Who knew a couple of decades could actually improve a boyband?

Obama in the News again

2008-09-10T10:37:00.000-07:00

Obama recently made a comment: "You can put lipstick on a pig. It's still a pig." Now the media is making such a big deal about his comments. Wow, that is so unlike the media. Since the beginning there has been talk about Obama. First he was young, then his old pastor made outrageous comments, and now it is like everyday there is something else going on. Why doesn't everyone just come right out and say the real reason they have so much to say.....OBAMA IS BLACK AND HE IS RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES! Come on people we all know that is what you really want to say. It is unbelieveable that there is a possiblity that a black man could be in charge. Boy times have changed. I say it's about freakin time. We as americans always take pride in how diverse of a country we are. So why not a black man? Black is beautiful and we need a democrat in office. I don't know about you, but these republicans have already caused enough trouble.

Teen Pregnancy

2008-09-09T20:32:00.000-07:00

Well this show just wrapped its first season. If you haven't seen it, the name really says it all. Its like the new version of 7th Heaven minus the reverend father and seven kids. But you know especially with this day and age I just don't get the fascination with teen pregnancy. It's like people are embracing it. Don't get me wrong babies are a blessing but I am in no way condoning teen sex. When I was teen sex was the last thing on my mind. I had goals, I still have standards and I am not about to let some guy get to full of himself and think he can talk me out of my pants. Ugh! But at least this show does deal with today's reality and tackle the topic head on. ...Till next season.

I just wander if the mainstream praise those who do practice abstinence. Although, the show does display characters who wear purity rings, it is still a taboo to even think about being a virgin. Why? Even celebrities such as the Jonas Brothers, Jordin Sparks, and Selena Gomez are sporting purity rings. Good for them! The way I see it, being a virgin gives me power. This power entitles me to do whatever I want and not worry about a lot of issues. Whose to say those people who are sexually active are careful, however I don't that I am better than them. I just feel that if I chose to abstain from intercourse, its my decision. And far be it for you to convince me otherwise.

Gee....I guess you could just call me an individual.

Britney's Come Back

2008-09-09T18:07:00.000-07:00

Ms. Spears took it all the 2008 VMAs. My first thought was it's about time. Dang, Brit. It only took 3 albums, 2 very public relationships, a couple of baby federlines, and an long awaited rumored comeback for her to win. But all in all, it is good to see Britney back in the swing of things.

Have you ever been low?

2008-08-06T16:40:00.000-07:00

Do you ever just feel emotionally drained? Well that's how I feel. I can't even relax because there is always something going on. I mean it's my own fault I guess, but I don't want to feel this way. I just want to feel better. I can't help it but I wish I didn't exist or that I just wasn't here with these people. People think that they can just say whatever they wan to say to you. I don't know what it is but they just don't want to respect you or your personal opinion.

This is how I felt a couple of months ago. I was still in school and I was really frustrated and stressed out. Then the unthinkable happened. A young girl I knew committed suicide and I was so messed up. We weren't really friends but the fact that I knew her was enough. I felt angry and lost because she gave up and wasn't strong. And there I was feeling down and there was no way that suicide would ever be an option. I mean I felt that sometimes if I was someone else it would be better or if I was somewhere else. But I would never end it all. I realized that I had to be strong not only for myself but for my family because I couldn't imagine hurting them so much by a selfish act like that. Life is soo hard and people don't make it easy. But I learned that as long as I have faith in myself and support of my family and God's love that I can make it through anything.

Degree=No JOB

2008-08-05T15:24:00.000-07:00

Man...So i just recently graduated from college and I am currently trying to find employment. It is ridiculous trying to get a job. I mean you would think that it wouldn't be that difficult to find something. At this point anything will do. Job hunting shouldn't be this difficult. There are so many places online to look and post a resume that getting a job should just happen easily. But then again if every is looking I know why I'm jobless.

I don't know....it probably would have been easier if i was able to get an internship somewhere before I graduated and would now have some mulah. But no. Well...I went to a small liberal arts college with limited opportunities for me. I mean don't get me wrong there are plenty of opportunities for those who were "special". Special in the sense that you had to do a lot of butt kissing to get anywhere with professors or administrators. Yea, I wasn't that kind of a girl. So i guess I'm just not that kind of "special". I'm just unemployed. :(

Wow, flashback

2008-08-04T15:01:00.000-07:00

So today I had a tutoring session with a friend of my aunt's. It was interesting, we were working on algebra and I was amazed at how much information I had remembered. Wow, I mean most subjects I learned in high school I couldn't remember the next day, let alone 7 years later. But there I was sitting punching in calculations on my calculator and showing her how to factor expressions. At some point in the twisted ticking of time we managed to take a break but then it was right back to finding the slope of a line and figuring out how much Mr. G. invested in the bank with a total of $12000. So..you see math does make the world go round. You never know when high school algebra will come in handy in real life. It could help you make a little pocket change.

S3

Dating Online

2008-08-01T17:07:00.000-07:00

Sometimes it feels as though nothing I do goes the way I want it. I'm trying this new online dating or chatting thing. I don't know about it. It seems to be the only to get to know someone now a days. Great. It's hard enough as it is to worry about men lying and just getting into your pants. But now I have to talk to them frequently, then possibly meet and go on a couple of dates, only then to figure out that he is lying and wants to get into your pants. And on top of this I'm paying for the service of it all. Yay!!! Well all of the men online aren't like that but I feel bad. I'm not much of talker soo..I have to find things to talk to these guys about. And when we don't have much in common I have to slowly cut the string. Man is dating always this much work?